Patrick Houston puts out super brolic military-grade bangers.
Sometimes when I listen to rap music I want to hear a bombastic beat that bashes my eardrums in with its audible Hulk Hands. And over top of that beat I want someone yelling obscenities like Kevin Garnett after a careless Wally Szczerbiak turnover. Project Pat raps like a blunt force trauma causing battering ram and I love it.
Here are his 10 best joints
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10
Listen: North Memphis
Breakin down some Reefaaah
Rollin up a Sweetaaah
Ridin' through your streetaaah
Cheefin' like a heataaah
Fresh out of jail, Pat begins his 1999 album 'Ghetty Green' with this ruthless fire-breathing lyrical assault. For a long time I thought Pat said "Choppin up a keyaaah/ Ridin on tortillas" which would be a funny line
<---World's largest tortilla but I think he actually says, "twentyaaahs". Pat does mention cheese and liquor in the song, so add in tortillas and you have the makings of a nice little Mexican night. I'd enjoy a mariachi band version of this song.
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Listen: Should I
Project Pat and the Roots team up for the wavyest of wave jams. This is apparently Malik B's last song recorded with The Roots. You don't know Malik B unless you do, but you don't. Pat surfs in on the hook with "Should I go, should I stay, or should I leaveaaah/ She bout to turn this into Ike and Tinaaah." Pat's never afraid of a little veiled domestic violence threat if his girl doesn't keep the following 3 things: a warm bed, a cute face, a cold glass of Hennessy....these are reasonable expectations...I mean comparatively Notorious B.I.G. wants a girl that can 1. sniff a whole half of cake up 2. suck good dick 3. hook a steak up.
BOK BOK
CHICKIE-CHICKIE
When Pat comes in on his first verse you may think you're out at a free-range poultry farm, but it's just Pat impersonating these bald-head skally-wag chickenheads. You know how Tom-Tom makes a GPS voiced by Snoop Dogg? Well, Fisher-Price needs to make one of these voiced by Project Pat.
duck says Quak Quakaaah** Pat voice--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8
Listen: You Like
Asian speech stereotypes are always funny and the Asian girl on the intro of "You Like" nails it. Instead of Lil' Wayne, that Asian girl should have done the hook on 'Bling Bling'. "👲Bring Bring! Everytime I come around yo city Bring Bring👲!" Another way to improve that song is to fast forward through Baby's verse.
Pat lists a number of pimpish things that might impress this Asian jumpoff one of which is his "Starched up Akademiks jeans". See this is why I love Pat. He's not worried about being a 'Fashion Killer' like A$AP wearing thousand dollar jeans. He's not doing ostentatious runway shows like Kanye. I'd like to think he bought those jeans on sale at Sears. But they're fresh. They're starched up. And Project Pat is the embodiment of hood rich Memphis. Plus, if you've ever seen Accidental Chinese Hipsters you know that anything and everything can be fly for Asians. So impressing the jumpoff will likely go as blissfully smooth as the Willie Hutch "Hold On" sample this track uses.
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7
Listen: Raised In The Projects
Difficult to think of a track that goes harder. Pat can bellow out trap lyrics until he's anoxic. Hearing this track once will make you want to put bars on your windows.
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6
Listen: Wagon Wheels
Project Pat dropped "Wagon Wheels" 6 years before the release of Darius Rucker's marshmallow soft "Wagon Wheel"
"Wagon Wheel" features singing about picking up bouquets of dogwood flowers.
"Wagon Wheels" features rapping about picking up hookers (hookaaaahs)
No Contest
Sure, one has 50 Million more YouTube views than the other, but Project Pat's track is one you can ride out to. Also, can you imagine Patrick Houston on the prairie in a rickety olde-time covered wagon? I have trouble picturing that, but if he was, it's likely he'd be really high.
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5
Listen: Still Ridin Clean
Still makin cheese, ridin clean and gettin my dick sucked
Does there exist a better Mantra to live by? Shouldn't we all aspire to such heights? Is this the new American dream? Is he quoting the constitution? Won't this be your response the next time someone asks you what you're doing? In the history of hip-hop has there been a more gully chorus?
Project Pat lets his younger brother Juicy J jump on this track. People forget about Pat being Juicy J's actual brother. The same people forget about Don Swayze too.
<---Shame he's not in the new Point BreakBut when Project Pat hits you with lines like "Them twelve golds in my mouth makin these bitches faint" it's hard to understand why Pat isn't the most recognizable name in the family.
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4
Listen: I Ain't Goin Back To Jail
The Last Mr. Bigg (R.I.P.) steps in on a poignant and pretty straight forward hook. You know The Last Mr. Bigg from his hook on"Poppin My Collar". He survived after getting shot in the head twice and performs wearing a Jason mask.
Everyone has priorities. The Last Mr. Bigg's are swelling pussy and telling dreams. And he can't go back to jail because he has/had more of this to do.
Unlike the majority of rappers who make surface-level promises for the sake of lyrical showmanship, Project Pat just honestly doesn't want to go back to jail. Jail probably sucks. He's been there enough. I'm still confused as to why he wants me to tell my old man he ain't goin' back to jail tho.
"Hey Dad, Project Pat said he ain't goin back to jail."
"Who is Project Pat?"
"Nevermind Dad."
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3
Listen: Out There
Blunt to my lips, gun on my hip
Rocks in my sock, pocket full of chips
Watchin' for the pigs, splittin' haters' wigs
No one creates dope lyrical lists like Pat can. I wish he would compile my grocery lists, if I ever got groceries or made grocery lists.
How many rappers are there that can give you such a fire flames verse with every line ending with the word "mane"? The combination of Pat's beautiful misanthropy and the menacing piano doesn't ever get old.
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2
Listen: Don't Save Her
Do you know what Project Pat doesn't wear? A cape. He's not trying to save these hos.
Before J. Cole turned "Don't Save Her" into a lullaby this jam used to make trunks rattle. Pat fired some classic knowledge darts at you in his first verse. Two things I ain't never in my life done seen before is a U.F.O. or a ho that wouldn't go. If that isn't sage wisdom, I don't know what is. Also, his term for female fellatio is "chewing cat" so now that's what I call it too.
As I'm sure you know, an octopus's testicles are in its head. Russell Resthaven may as well be an octopus thinking with his balls. Despite getting clowned throughout the song you have to respect his plan to kill the guy his girl is messing around with after work...like I'm gunna kill this guy, but only AFTER he puts in a full 8 hours. Lol that's Playa Haters' Ball level hating right there.
Before getting caught up confusing cocaine and meth, Crunchy Black appeared here on possibly the best verse of his career. He leaves you pondering the image of him kickin in doors/f***** these hoes/slammin' em down like Dominoes...it's aggressive and very Crunchy Black. The fellow Memphian is also the second person featured on this top 10 list to have recovered after being shot in the face.
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1
Listen: Ooh Nuthin'
Who needs Shakespeare droning on with his overly wordy fascinations about a woman's figure "O most sure, the goddess on whom these airs doth attend"? No. Project Pat is more direct. He keeps it real. He knows how to get to the point: "Mane this gal stacked/ Butt cheeks like a hippo"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS"-
This song bangs. The lyrics are incredible. It's Pat's best work and my personal favorite. So much so it was played at my wedding.
About the author
The author once owned a Phat Farm windbreaker
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